Aren't Eggs Brilliant

Aren’t eggs brilliant though, if we didn’t have eggs, we’d have to invent them, and that would be tough task. A perfect parcel of goodness, the shell and shell membrane can breathe and yet is waterproof like Gore-Tex. Also the shell and it’s membrane has antibiotic properties which keeps it fresh for ages.The shell itself is reasonably tough and as most schoolboys know it can be so strong  under even pressure across it’s long axis that you can try to crush it in your hand and fail. The shell strength is dependent on diet, eggshells in Spain are remarkably hard, they must be fed a lot calcium over there.

The internal structure of an egg is quite clever, you only have to crack an egg into a frying pan to see that the egg white is comprised of two amounts of different consistency, there’s thick gloopy stuff that flops around the yolk, and thin runny stuff that flollops right around the egg. If you look at the yolk there are usually two strands of white, sort of twisted ropey stuff at each side of the yolk. When I was a boy I thought that stuff was the cockerel’s semen (except I didn’t call it that, back then). In the shell, the thick albumen surrounds the inside of the shell, the yolk floats in the middle surrounded by more thick albumen the interspace being filled by thin albumen, the ropey albumen connects the yolk thick albumen to the shell albumen top and bottom. The result is that the yolk is retained by a spring/damper mechanism to protect it from twists turns and minor shocks, clever or what!

There has been so much bollocks talked about the nutritional value of eggs, once they were good for you, then they weren’t, now they are, but in moderation, what a load of bollocks! It’s said that there’s too much cholesterol, yes there is a lot of it, and it’s there to grow a chicken! When we eat that cholesterol, we digest it and it builds us instead. Consider this, this perfect package of nutrition contains everything required to allow a zygote(first single cell- the result of two gametes(sex cells) ) to develop and grow into a perfect little chicken, that can break its way out of the shell and start pecking straight away. The chick doesn’t keel over and die of a heart attack cos there was too much cholesterol in its diet!

Eggs are brilliant though aren’t they, eat ‘em, eat every day, and in every which way, I do. I should probably carry out an experiment to live on nothing but eggs, just to see if it was detrimental, my god the farts would be awesome. Bollocks to objectors, I believe it’s not even feasible to eat too many eggs, they provide essential protein, vitamins, essential fats and trace elements, they contain the building blocks of life itself, we need everything eggs have to replenish our cellular structure.

As if the foregoing wasn't enough, eggs do so much more, they can be cooked as eggs in so many ways, they are used in so many dishes and sauces and pastries and cakes and batters. All the uses to which eggs are put, without eggs there would be a struggle, a chef without eggs wouldn’t be able to come up with much. So yes, eggs are truly brilliant, enjoy them without guilt, eggs are good food.